No matter what you do, you'll always end up here

safeguards:

when i’m telling a story and a friend interrupts:

image

pricklystickers:

xekstrin:

door:

um

im gonna fuck the ghost

do not fuck the ghost

pricklystickers:

xekstrin:

door:

um

im gonna fuck the ghost

do not fuck the ghost

imkirby:

Laverne Cox should play Wonder Woman

nyctophiliacgirl:

haisojrellim:

lumos5001:

scotsmcall:

zaynyboy:

ok but literally how

HE TURNED FOUR BIRDS INTO A PERSON THIS IS OBVIOUSLY A WIZARD WHO HAS ESCAPED HOGWARTS SOMEONE CALL THE MINISTRY OF MAGIC FUCK THIS (via fortheloveofotps)

Every great magic trick consists of three parts or acts. The first part is called “The Pledge”. The magician shows you something ordinary: a deck of cards, a bird or a man. He shows you this object. Perhaps he asks you to inspect it to see if it is indeed real, unaltered, normal. But of course… it probably isn’t. The second act is called “The Turn”. The magician takes the ordinary something and makes it do something extraordinary. Now you’re looking for the secret… but you won’t find it, because of course you’re not really looking. You don’t really want to know. You want to be fooled. But you wouldn’t clap yet. Because making something disappear isn’t enough; you have to bring it back. That’s why every magic trick has a third act, the hardest part, the part we call “The Prestige”.”

Are you watching closely?

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vinegod:

who made this chicken 🐓 by Chip Hoch

cosettishly:

mecto—amorous:

robots who are really bad at math and when people are like “shouldnt you be good at math since you’re a computer” and the robot is just like “shouldnt you be an expert in biology since you’re made of cells”

commanderknotty:

IF YOU BLAME YOUNG GIRLS FOR NOT KNOWING HOW TO REACT TO UNWELCOME SEXUAL ADVANCES FROM ADULT MEN I WILL DESTROY YOU, I WILL ERADICATE EVERY PROTON THAT COMPRISES YOUR WORTHLESS BODY, HOW DARE YOU